Blood and Thunder: Anders

Sleep…sleep…Maker all I want to do is sleep…shut the hell up Justice…
I feel her move against me, her soft curves meeting my hard angles and I soak in the heat of her body. This is absolute bliss…no Deep Roads Expedition, no Blight, no Architect…just Maeve and I…I never want it to end…

SSSSccccRRrrraaaaaaaAAAAATCH!!!!!!!!!!! THUD!!!

Sadly though, the dog does…Maker but I miss Pounce…

"Shut up Marley." Maeve hisses, her deliciously rough hands moving over me, caressing my torso to the point where I'm actually about to start purring. I don't open my eyes; just blindly push my face towards the sound of her voice until her soft lips collide with my chapped ones in a sloppy, half asleep kiss.

She groans against my skin as she pulls me closer, trying in vain to ignore the hound's persistent scraping. He is standing in front of the door…and is really beginning to piss me off.

Marley head butts the door and Maeve jumps out of the bed, "Son of a bleeding archdemon!!!" She roars, and I can't help but smile…Marley is lucky, for Maker help whoever drives Maeve's anger to this point and does not possess Marley's 'sad puppy eyes'…Fenris is the only person who even comes close.

Sure enough, "Marley if it weren't for your talent of ripping bandits apart I'd kill you." The words are an empty threat and judging by the dog's happy bark he knows it. She opens the door to let him out and I take this opportunity to stretch across the mattress, for Maeve hogs the bed far too much and I'm tired damn it.

I feign sleeping, doing my best to keep the smirk off my face as I hear her walk towards the bed. I'm being a naughty mage this morning...

"You had better move over Mage…" She threatens, "Lest I smite you with my mighty templar abilities." Justice does not like this…but I myself love it, I adore her humor…I adore her. Again, shut the hell up Justice…

I groan, slowly opening one eye before the other, appreciating the view she's given me. Her body is absolutely breath taking…hard muscle meeting soft curves at just the right places, a warrior woman's body, the pale skin marred by dark scars but this only adds to her appeal. My favorite marks are the tattoos stretching low across her hips and lower abdomen, the markings similar to the tattoos around her eyes and mouth. I find tattoos on women incredibly sexy…and she knows it.

I smirk at her, a challenge in my eyes, "Come at me woman."

Her sapphire orbs widen slightly as a smile lights up her face and for a moment there is nothing else but Hawke and I again…no templars…no mage rebellion…no stress, just us.

She lets out one of her softer war cries before leaping on top of me, though I'm already waiting to embrace her.

I cannot live without this woman…and quite honestly it scares me to think of what I would have become if she hadn't come into my life…I said shut the HELL UP Justice…

. . .

I can't believe he's gone…Karl…my Karl…

I'll never see him smile, never hear his laugh…never…well, never a lot of things with Karl.

My heart…it hurts, like no pain I've ever felt before, the ache spirals down my torso, making every movement misery. Will it ever stop? Maker…I don't think I can get through this…

'It is time to wake…'

Damn it Justice, can't you just let me be for once?

'They need you Anders…'

I know…fuck.

I stand, pulling on my most comfortable robes and stepping out into the clinic, I ran out of bread two days ago so no breakfast for me…

Voices and the sounds of potion bottles clanging together make me pause…is it the templars? Are they ransacking my clinic?

"What the hell is this?" I know that voice…

"That is an elfroot potion sister, put it down…" I know that one too…

"It looks creepy…there are little bits floating in it…" I smirk at Hawke's disgusted tone.

"That is normal Sister; now please put it back where you found it…" Bethany sounds tired.

"Fine…"

I walk in to find my clinic far cleaner than I had left it the night before…Maeve standing before me in a loose tunic and pants, one of Isabela's head scarves covering her hair and dust smeared across her face, she's looking through the cabinets of medical supplies, obviously done cleaning and now being nosey.

Bethany is rushing between patients, bandaging a wound too small for magic in one moment and pouring potions down patients' throats who are in dire need in the next…she's doing surprisingly well considering I haven't seen her use a drop of healing magic.

Maeve runs a wet cloth across a table, looking up at me and smiling, "Wakey wakey mage!" She sings, "Damn you'd sleep all day if you could huh?"

I stare at her in stunned awe, "W-what…how?" I gesture about the room, seeing her smile widen as she moves towards me.

"I thought we'd pitch in and help, Maker knows you need it and…" She steps closer, "I figured you deserved a day off after…after…well, you know."

For a moment all I can do is stare at her…watching a blush tinge her face pink as she plays with a tendril of ebony hair, "We can leave if you'd prefer…I don't know how you handle grief and it's really none of my business, was just trying to hel-" I pull her to me, never before has anyone shown me this kindness save for a grey warden mage in Ferelden. She stiffens and stifles a noise in protest and I can't help wondering why…I've noticed she does that when any man touches her…even Varric, but that is something to ponder at another time.

"Thank you…" I mumble against her shoulder, my eyes sliding closed as her arms wrap around me, squeezing back as her body finally relaxes.

"You're welcome…" She whispers, stepping back and moving towards the cooking fire. "We cooked some stew, I brought the ingredients from home and Bethany baked bread for you…" She shoves a bowl and half a loaf of bread into my hands, "Why don't you sit and eat, Bethany and I have things under control for the moment." She smiles before leaving to help her sister.

I sniff at the food, it smells amazing…

As I eat and watch the Hawke siblings work I feel the crippling pain around my heart begin to recede, maybe I can get through this after all.

'She is trouble…'

Bethany seems like a sweet girl, and she's a mage how can she be trouble for us?

'I was not speaking of her…the older one…'

Maeve?

'Yes…watch her carefully Anders, she is more than she seems.'

. . .

I know I'm not supposed to…this is bad…this is VERY bad considering its only going to cause me pain and heartache later…but damn it she's right in front of me!

Maker what I would give to see her out of that armor, and NOT injured mind you…I mean her body is obviously a thing of beauty while in it, I bet she's absolutely irresistible out of it…

'Stop staring at her backside and FOCUS!'

Oh do be quiet Justice…you have made it perfectly clear that I can't touch, but you never said I couldn't look…

'We are in a warehouse, tracking a possible murderer…save your filthy desires for another time!'

Filthy? I'm offended…

'No you're not'

I know…

"Anders…"

I startle, looking up into ocean eyes filled to the brim with amusement, "Hmm?" I feign innocence…

"Are you alright? You seem…" Hawke's smile turns to a sexy little smirk, "distracted…"

If I didn't have a fade spirit in my head, if I was still the man I was two years ago…I'd have pulled her into one of the alcoves of this place and shown her just how distracting she is…but I'm not, and I DO have a fade spirit in my head, so oh well…

My eyes widen in fake shock, "I assure you dear lady, my thoughts are completely and one hundred percent focused on our mission here!"

'And on her backside'

SHUT UP JUSTICE

Her eyes smolder as she leans forward, her gauntlet reaching out to trail a finger up my chest, "Well, alright then…" She purrs before walking away, adding an extra sway to her hips.

Huh…well…that was…well…that, is it hot in here or is it just me?

'It is just you…idiot'

Are you sure there is no way to gag you? Honestly I can't get you to shut up at all?

'I'm afraid not'

Well damn it.

. . .

Hawke…she's a templar.

No, she never joined the order but the talents and abilities are still there, and now I've seen them for myself.

'What did I tell you?'

Alright so anger and rage are covered, now you're working on "Smug"

'I am simply stating that you should listen to me when I issue warnings, it would keep you out of unnecessary trouble.'

Fuck off spirit.

'I do not know what that means…'

Never mind, it doesn't matter. Andraste's blood, what do I do now?!

'Run away…like you always do.'

You know you aren't helping

'You asked a question and so I answered'

It was a rhetorical question Justice…

I'm back at the clinic, all the patients are gone…I was supposed to meet the others at the Hanged Man, Hawke and I were going to talk about this…but I chickened out, I can't face her right now. She was the one person I thought I could trust…

"Anders?" That's Hawke…

"I'm coming…"

'Quit being a coward and face her'

I said FUCK OFF Justice…

'And I still do not know what that means'

I sigh heavily as I stand, moving towards the main room of the clinic.

Hawke hasn't even bothered to wash the grime of battle off…dried and crusted blood runs in crimson tracks down her face from her nose and…Maker even out of her ears, I didn't stop the spell in time.

"You weren't there…" She murmurs.

"Yea…I know." I answer, I gave some lame ass excuse to run by the clinic before meeting the others later and then never showed…yup, that's right, I'm a pansy.

"I thought you'd…" She doesn't finish her sentence, fiddling with her gauntlet in a surprisingly awkward gesture; I don't think I've ever seen Maeve this uncertain of herself.

"What? Skipped town?" She nods and I chuckle, "Heh, you actually think I'd leave?" I gesture about the room, "Give up this mystical paradise? Why whatever for?!"

This earns me a small laugh, followed by a grimace, "Listen…I know you hate me…"

"I don't hate you…"

She levels me with a glare both filled with anger, and more than a little hurt, "You looked at me like you looked at the templars who took Karl."

'You hurt her…'

Maker's breath, do I detect a hint of concern?!

'Shut up Mage, she is dangerous and definitely a distraction, but she reminds me so much of Sonya…I do not wish her hurt.'

I examine her, they share the same facial features and the eyes before Sonya became a warden…but their attitudes are vastly different. Sonya is a timid mage, a brilliant tactician…whereas Maeve is all warrior with a stab first and ask questions later mentality. She gives me a confused look and I realize I've remained silent for far too long.

I sigh heavily before filling a bowl with water from the pitcher I keep in the back, grabbing a rag as I gesture for her to sit on one of the cots, "Here, let me get that blood off you…"

She nods, before removing her breastplate and sitting, it lands with a heavy thud beside the cot.

I dip the rag in the water and begin to wipe the blood from her face, "I do not hate you Hawke, you just took me by surprise," Her eyes widen as I dab at the blood near her ears, "I've spent my whole life in fear of Templars…running from them, fighting them…you have no idea what life in the tower is like…you scared me."

"I'm sorry…" She whispers.

"Don't be…" I find myself saying, "I should be the one apologizing here, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I could have spared that mage the death I gave him…you were right, no one deserves to die like that."

I stop cleaning her wounds, "I don't think I've ever seen that move before…what is it?"

She smiles grimly, "A Templar's secret weapon…there are certain choke points on a mage's body…if pressure is applied a certain way to these points you choke on your own magic." Her eyes find mine, "You know of the blood mage spell that boils a person's blood in their body?" I nod, "This is like that…only it turns your mana against you."

A cold chill sweeps over my skin and I can't help but flinch.

"Please…" She whispers, tilting my chin up until all I see are pools of liquid sapphires, "Please don't be scared of me…I promise…no, I SWEAR to never use that move again…you have my word."

It takes me ages to form a coherent thought with her face so close to mine, "You don't have to promise Hawke…and that move is useful, I want you to use it if you are in danger…" I hesitantly press my forehead to hers, "And I'm not scared of you…" At least, I'm not scared of her because of her templar training…no, I'm scared of her because the feelings she brings out in me, I thought, were dead to the world…

There is a tense moment of silence and then she kisses me…Hawke…Maeve Hawke…is kissing me…

I respond before I can stop myself…I mean she's been haunting my thoughts since day one…

'What are you doing?! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!'

I break the kiss, my hands sliding up her arms to grip her shoulders, "Maeve…" My voice is hoarse…

There is a wicked gleam in her eyes and it is taking all my control to keep my distance, "Yes?" She purrs.

"Maeve I…I can't…" I bow my head, though soon her hands are cradling my face as she tilts my chin up.

"Why?"

I hate this…hate what I've become, hate what I have to do…

'It's for her protection too Anders…not just ours.'

I know…but is it so wrong to want to be happy?

'Happiness is a luxury we cannot afford, the mages need you.'

I stare into her eyes, soon closing mine as her thumb strokes my cheek, "I'm not the man I used to be Maeve…" I hug her to me,"I'll only end up hurting you." I bury my face in her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent.

"Hurt me…" She whispers in my ear, "I might like it…"

I can't help myself…I bite her neck…

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!'

It was just a nip Justice, Maker…

I soon regain control of myself, "No…" I pull away, standing, "A year ago…maybe we could have had something…but I'm different now," I meet her anguished stare with one of my own, "I'll break your heart…" And that might kill me as surely as the Templars.

She sighs heavily as she looks down at her hands…standing moments later and grabbing her discarded armor, "Okay…I understand, I'll leave you alone Anders."

Damn it…

. . .

Marley…he's a strange animal…

Maeve's beloved hound is currently stretched out on his back, all four legs in the air, giving me a look that just screams 'This is MY bed!'

"Marley…" The dog growls, wriggling his back as if he's marking the mattress…

'Perhaps it would be better to let his mistress deal with this'

Justice, are you scared of Marley?

'What? NO!'

Heh, keep telling yourself that spirit, I'm sure you'll believe it eventually…

My attention goes back to the dog as I pace around the bed, "Now listen here Marley…I know you and I don't see eye to eye…but I'm living here now and that's MY bed."

The dog rolls onto his belly as he lets out a loud bark before growling. Oh how I miss Ser Pounce-a-lot…

"Marley…come on boy, we can work this out can't we?" Damn those teeth look sharp…

"Marley!" Maeve sings as she enters the room, the dog's demeanor going from killer to love puppy in the blink of an eye.

He rolls onto his back, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth as his mistress climbs onto the bed and starts rubbing his belly, "Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?! You are, yes you are!!!" She coos, for a moment I just watch…amused that I've seen this woman rip men apart with her bare hands and now she's spewing the most adorable baby talk…

"Now why are you fighting with Anders boy?" She purrs, scritching behind the dog's ears. Marley barks as he gently head butts her, whimpering as he looks towards me, "Aww, my little Marley…" She soothes, kissing the top of his head as he curls up against her, "Now you know he won't be in the bed all the time…you're more than welcome to use it when he's not here…" The dog barks happily, his tail wagging.

"Now why don't you go play with Sandal? You like Sandal don't you boy? Yes you do!" She nuzzles the dog, her hands massaging the hound's sides and back, "You'd like to stay with Sandal wouldn't you?" Marley gives an enthusiastic bark before leaping off the bed and dashing down the stairs.

I stare after him…wondering how I'm going to get along with that dog.
"Thanks for that…was worried he was going to rip my head off." I smile at her before turning to leave; I really was already on my way to the clinic when Marley intervened.

"And just where do you think you're going?" I hear her purr behind me, her voice making my knees buckle. Oh Maker…she's going to be the death of me…

"To the clinic…" I murmur hoarsely as I turn to find she's removed her armor in record time and is oooohhh so slowly pulling her tunic down her shoulder, exposing her neck and a great deal of her chest.

"And why would you be going there?" She asks, her eyes smoldering.

I drop my staff, kicking the door shut before shrugging out of my coat as I practically run to her, "No idea whatsoever…"

. . .

It is strange…after being buried in the Mage's subconscious to suddenly be free…I have missed the Fade…the mortal world is fascinating, but the Fade is my home, where I belong…there is no uncertainty for me here.

The mortal at my side turns to me, her eyes widening as she regards Anders' body in confusion, "Umm…Anders, you're glowing…"

"I am not Anders." I growl, this woman has caused me no end of grief with the mage and I still do not fully trust her.

'You don't have to trust her, but be nice or I swear I'll-'

You'll what Anders?

'…I don't know, but it will be bad for you Spirit, I swear it.'

"Ah, Justice…I was wondering when we'd meet." Her blue eyes never waver from mine, there is no fear as there should be…she is either very brave or very stupid.

I step back as she bows before me, "A pleasure to meet you spirit, your help in saving Feynriel is appreciated." She straightens, a mischievous smile stretching her lips as she draws her sword, "Now what do you say we hack some demons to pieces?"

Before I can answer she follows her companions, leaping down the stairs and immediately slicing into a demon of Sloth…

'Do you see now why I love her?'

The similarities between her and Sonya are unsettling.

'You like her…'

What? Why do you say that?!

'Well, in case you haven't noticed we share a body? Might have something to do with that…I mean I feel what you feel and vice versa.

Silence Mage.

'Justice and Maeve Hawke, sitting in a tree…'

I SAID BE SILENT!

. . .

Loud banging and the sound of objects being slammed around jolts me awake. For a moment I am disoriented, not quite knowing where I am. Realization dawns on me as I see I am in Hawke's roo-

I'm…in Hawke's…ROOM.

I never thought I'd get here,  that she'd accept me…or more accurately I let my self control slip and am now too far gone to care.

More things get thrown together and I sit up, a soft smile on my face as I regard Maeve…who's packing…whatever for?

"Was I that bad?" I ask, teasing. Her back is to me, and I notice she's no longer naked. Wearing an off white tunic that is five sizes too large for her, it hangs off her shoulder, the length stopping just above her knees…her lithe frame drowning in fabric.

She freezes at my voice, turning slowly to face me. I cannot identify the look on her face…she's never looked at me like that before. I then notice she has several potions and some clothing in her hands. She frowns as she sets them aside.

"No…you were…" She blushes as she looks at her feet, "Refreshing…" Most guys would have been confused at that, but I know what she means.

Her scars from the Blooming Rose are not merely skin deep and if I could find every man who harmed her and took advantage of her, Justice and I would rip them limb from limb.

I stand, smiling when her eyes widen and she bites her lower lip, "So what are you doing?" I murmur as I pull her into my arms. Her hands slide up my chest, locking behind my neck as I kiss her forehead.

She hugs me to her, clutching at me as if I'm the only thing holding her up. It isn't until she starts to tremble that I realize she's crying.

'What did you do to her?!'

Peace Justice…

"Maeve?"

"They won't have you…" She chokes out, "I won't let them take you…" She pulls away, returning to packing her things in earnest, her movements almost angry.

"We can run to Tevinter, Anders…they accept mages there. We can live outside town, only venturing close to civilization when we run out of supplies…you'll be safe, we can…" Her voice gets shrill before changing into a strangled sob as she continues to throw clothes and other things into a pack.

I grab her arms, pulling her away gently, turning her until she cringes into my chest. Her arms wrap around my waist as I tuck her head under my chin and massage her back, "Shhh…" I soothe, "I'm not running away love, I can't leave Kirkwall."

"Why not?!" She sobs, "Why can't we just leave? I can't lose you Anders!" I kiss the top of her head, about ready to start crying myself.

'Do you see now why this shouldn't happen? We're going to hurt her Anders…'

I fear we already have Spirit.

"It would kill me to lose you too Maeve." I almost growl into her hair, "I can't abandon the mages though…"

"To hell with the mages!" She cries, though I know she doesn't mean that. She knows better than anyone how important my cause is.

"Maeve…"

"No!"

I do the only thing I can think of to shut her up. I crush her mouth to mine, feeling her tense before melting against me. My hands fist in her hair as her nails scrape down my spine, her soft moan driving me crazy before I let her go. She leans against me, both of us breathing hard, "I love you."

She looks up at me, tears spilling down her face, "I love you too…" She kisses me again and I smile against her lips. Four years…four looonnngg years and now she is MINE.

'This is a mistake'

Shut up Justice

'Fine, I will remain silent…but soon you will realize I'm right.'

Maker I hope, for once, you're wrong...

. . .

I look upon her skin in horror…

Things were going fine, I was massaging her skin, Maeve was making the most amazing sounds…but then I really looked at her flesh.

"Maeve…" I breathe.

She sits up, the blanket falling from her shoulders…her torso now bare before me and I have to stifle a gasp…how had I missed this earlier?!

"What?" She asks, flinching as my fingers trace each mark…the dark, almost black burns scorching down her throat and curling about her ribs…they look like claw marks.

"H-how?" I can barely form a coherent sentence…

"The Blooming Rose…" She begins, "A blood mage picked me."

The atmosphere freezes, "What?" I hiss.

She pulls the sheets up to her chin, moving away from me and it is then I notice my veins are glowing blue, "Anders…the only rule at the Rose is you pay up…they can do whatever they want to us as long as they pay Lusine enough money to buy her silence."

"He bled you?!"

"Not a great deal…"Her eyes narrow as she looks at her hands, "Just enough to get him off…" She adds bitterly.

I pull her to me, "Who is he?" I growl.

'WHERE IS THIS MORTAL?!'

I'm trying to figure that out Justice!

"He's long gone Anders…I tried to find him once he left." She begins to shake, the memories I just dragged up taking hold. I feel awful…stupid…I shouldn't have said anything.

'No…you did the right thing, now we know to look out for him.'

Good point Spirit.

"What can I do?" I whisper into her hair. My magic can't heal scars from blood magic…

"Nothing…" She whimpers, "Just…hold me, please."

'He will pay'

I agree Justice...He will pay dearly.

. . .

The Mage Underground usually causes me no end of grief. I try my best to help my fellows, but often I am either too late or their conditioning is far too strong.

This moment though, my connections paid off.

The pathetic worm in my grasp screams as I pull his arm out of its socket, throwing him to the ground. It had taken some digging but through my contacts I managed to find him.

"Mercy Serah, show mercy!" I grasp his collar, jerking him up and shoving him against the wall.

"You never showed her any mercy…do you know what you did to her?!" He already knows of who I speak.

"Mentioned me did she?" He asks, a sinister grin on his face.

Justice erupts from me; I'm shoved far to the back of his mind. He punches the mage in the face, "How dare you?!" He growls, fire erupting in his palm.

"She enjoyed it!" The blood mage growls, "Her blood was delicious…" Justice kicks him in the ribs and I hear them crack.

"You will burn…" He hisses and I'm scared, I've NEVER felt him this angry…

The spell flows from his hands, wrapping the blood mage in a fiery cage. His screams of agony are the stuff of nightmares, "YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERY MARK LEFT ON HER SKIN!"

. . .

She sits on the edge of the bed as I heal myself, bandaging the less fatal wounds on my knuckles. Justice often forgets that I am no warrior, and hand to hand combat is not a particular talent of mine.

"He is dead?" She whispers as I stand before her. I kneel down to where I can look in her eyes.

"Yes…he is."

She lunges towards me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as she buries her face in my neck, "Thank you…" She sobs, "Both of you" She whimpers against my skin, "Thank you thank you thank you…"

"I love you Maeve"

. . .

For a warrior Maeve is surprisingly graceful…

She dances in combat, and even now in bulky plate armor, runs as fluidly as any Dalish.

We are half a day's journey away from Kirkwall, and  we're making good time. I honestly cannot believe I'm still alive…

'We owe her a great deal…'

We owe her EVERYTHING Justice…

'I know…'

She is mad…

'She is in pain Anders, let her heal.'

But I'm scared Justice…I need her, I don't want to lose her, not after all this.

'You will not lose her, I won't allow it.'

For the first time I am actually comforted by the spirit in my body…I feel Vengeance fading with every step we take away from the City of Chains, and I hope my anger hasn't permanently tainted my friend.

'No…it did not my friend, due in no small part to the woman at our side.'

Maeve stops running, dropping her pack, "We can rest for five minutes." She growls before beginning to sharpen her sword.

I start a fire, cleaning my staff as I watch her try to rest, "I love you" I can't tell her that enough…

Her eyes open, going tender as they meet mine, "I love you too…" She whispers before looking away.

That calms me…Come what may as long as she keeps saying those words I know I'll be able to survive anything.