Two Hawkes: First Nights

The two blondes stood outside the Hawke estate, neither man eager to go inside…

"You know they've been drinking…" The first said.

"Undoubtedly."

"Please tell me your lyrium stash is well hidden…"

"She finds it no matter where I hide the damn thing, it's like she can smell it."

Both shook their heads and sighed, "Templars…" they said at the same time.

"Well I guess we better go in and stop this before it goes too far."

They entered the mansion, hearing the high pitched laughter from the study. Indeed the women had thrown a party in their absence and it sounded like it was in full swing.

"Then…h-he…he…you know what he did then Thera?" Maeve slurred, swaying side to side slightly while she sat on the floor in front of the fire.

"Heehee, what did he do Maeve?"

"Oh I thi-think y-you already know…"Maeve purred before bursting into a fit of giggles.

"T-tell me anyways!" Thera commanded, falling out of her chair and laughing.

"It involved…electricity!"

Both women erupted in shrieks of laughter.

The two men sighed heavily, finding both their lovers surrounded by wine bottles and lyrium vials. The two templars were completely smashed.

"Oh!" Thera exclaimed softly as she rolled onto her side to better look at them. Her lover and his alternate wore the same expression, a mixture of irritation and amusement.

Maeve turned to face them as well, an impish grin on her face, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Best threesome ever?"

"Yes!"

Both Anders' rolled their eyes at almost the exact same time which caused the two women to laugh harder.

"Justice wouldn't approve though…" Thera slurred, "He doesn't share."

"Selfish glowing bastard…" Maeve giggled.

"Having fun?" Her Anders asked, kneeling down to see if she was merely drunk or lyrium drunk.

"She hasn't had any lyrium Anders!" Thera called,

"Right, cause I'm a good templar! This is purely the whiskey I swear!"

"So what exactly have you two been talking about?" Thera's Anders asked.

"Our first nights with you…" Thera cooed.

Maeve's Anders yelped as the warrior woman slapped his leg, "You utter bastard." Maeve growled.

"What in the Maker's name have I done now?"

He watched his lover flail an arm in Thera's direction, "She gets this romantic horseback ride out to this beautiful area outside of Kirkwall where they make love under the stars and I get stood up."

"I did not forget our plans, I told you, there was a mugging right outside the clinic with several stab victims…would you rather I just let them die?" Anders asked patiently.

"Don't bring your clinic logic into this!" Maeve cried, pouting like a five year old. Thera and her Anders were busy quietly laughing in their own corner.

"So wait, what happened with you two?" Thera's Anders asked.

"So he says if I leave the door unlocked he'll come to me right?" Maeve begins, sobering slightly, "well I left the front door unlocked and he never shows so I think he's decided not to come and, emotionally shattered, I fall asleep in my desk chair…so he comes in, after everyone's asleep, and wakes me up and we have sex. Does that sound romantic to you?!"

"That is so not what happened!" Maeve's Anders wailed, pulling her against him, "I was trying to tuck you in, figuring we would sleep and save our plans for the next night but you woke up and practically attacked me!"

Maeve growled in his arms, pout firmly in place, "Well can you blame me?"

"I woulda done the same thing!" Thera sang, a goofy smile firmly in place.

"May I also remind you dearest one, how you get angry when I spend my money on you?"

"Damn you."

"I love you Maeve."

"Damn you twice!"

Thera and her Anders couldn't help but laugh, holding onto each other as they struggled to remain upright.

"Okay, okay…I think it's time we got these two into bed." Thera's Anders helped her to stand, though soon found himself tackled to the ground.

"Oooohhh…"Thera purred, "Are you suggesting something?"

"What?" Her Anders looked confused for a moment before realization dawned, "What?! NO!!"

"Y-You…don't know what *hiccup* you're missing mage boy…" Maeve slurred before passing out.

"I think he does my love." Maeve's Anders crooned to her unconscious form, scooping her into his arms and leaving the room.

"You know they're going to be impossible in the morning right?" Thera's Anders said, his arms full of templar.

"Nothing we can do about it now." Maeve's Anders replied, carrying her to their room while Thera's Anders went to his.

The next morning both men found themselves alone in bed, quietly making their way down to the kitchens.

"Ugh…"Thera groaned, "What were we thinking?"

"That alcohol is amazing?" Maeve's voice was muffled against the table's surface. "Which I think is an absolute lie…that stuff is the elixir of evil I tell you! Never again!"

Both Anders' exchanged impish grins before bursting into the kitchen, making as much noise as possible, "GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL LADIES!"

What they didn't expect was that both women were armed…and still possessing impressive aim despite their hangovers.

Maeve's Anders yelped as a dagger flew passed his head. Thera's Anders had run from the room.

"AND STAY OUT!" Both women growled before sitting back down.

A few moments passed, both Hawkes waiting for the room to stop spinning.

Maeve pressed her face into the palms of her hands, peeking through her fingers at Thera, "You know with just a wave of their hand we'd be cured right?"

"Yea." Thera grumbled, sitting straighter in her chair, "But they won't heal us for this…"

"Those bastards."

"Indeed sister, indeed."