Odds and Ends: Sex Ed

"How's it goin Mordin?"

Jesus Christ, it had seemed like such a simple question…

Brina Shepard was not prepared for the salarian's response, "Shepard! Need to speak with you, medical matters, very important."

She had paused, resting her hip against the side of the lab table and crossed her arms.

Mordin paced, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. "

Brina suddenly became very uncomfortable.

"Sexual activity normal as stress release. Still, recommend caution with Thane. Drell/Human liaisons complex. Thane complex as well."

"Whoah!" Brina stood ram rod straight, "What are you talking about?!"

"Am not blind Shepard, also not stupid. Have monitored interactions between crew members, can see relationship evolving between you two."

Brina's eyes widened, "Umm, thank you for your concern Mordin…but…I really don't need to kno-"

"Nonsense, need to know information Shepard. Want you to enjoy yourself but stay safe!"

The commander soon found herself hearing all about rashes and hallucinations yet as hard as she tried to block it out, Mordin just kept on talking.

It wasn't until he actually began showing her diagrams and demonstration vids that she really lost it.

"Mordin!" She felt her face flush with heat. That was not a drell penis; she totally did not just see a drell penis.

"Problem Shepard?"

"Yes…just, put that stuff away!" She began backing out of the lab.

"But Shepard-"

"Just send it to my private terminal in the Loft! I…I need to go…" She felt for the door controls, finding herself falling backwards when they slid open.

Instead of hitting the floor though, someone caught her.

"Siha, are you alright?"

Oh…my…God…

Shepard leaped away from Thane, crossing and uncrossing her arms as she tried to look anywhere but at the assassin.

"Is something wrong? Should I get the doctor?"

Don't look at his crotch, don't look at his crotch, damn it I said don't look at it!

"Um, uh I-ah…I'm fine, fine, totally fine!" She was well aware that her face was the same color as her red armor, "Um…so…what brings you to the CIC?" Talking! Talking is good, you're good at talking Shep! Just don't stare at his crotch!

Thane raised one eye ridge, inner eyelids fluttering rapidly in concern, "I was informed Mordin wished to speak with me."

Oh no..

"Krios, good! Just finished discussing this with Shepard, please come in!"

"Thay Lord…"

"Siha?"

"I…I just…I need to go!" She leapt into the elevator, falling against the back wall as the doors slid shut.

She was going to go up to her room, crawl under her blankets, and never come out until the Reapers destroyed the galaxy.